Thursday, March 11, 2010

"Bett and Bals" : Moyes Money, Moyes Money, Moyes Money

This drama with the Coyotes doesn't seem to be ending. This time, the NHL is suing former owner Jerry Moyes for a breach of contract for the way he went about going into bankruptcy and trying to sell the Coyotes. There's a lot of money involved in the suit against Moyes, including the fees for the NHL's legal team, the operating losses for this year, as well as paying Wayne Gretzky. Considering both Gary Bettman and Jim Balsillie were involved, it seems like perfect timing to bring back this whole gem. Enjoy....or not.

We'll see scene with Balsillie sitting on the couch, feet up on the table as Bettman is frantically running between the kitchen and living room on his cell phone to his legal team.

Gary Bettman: Okay, so we've got the operating losses covered, Gretzky there anyway we can sue him to pay the Brooklyn Brawler for the naming rights?? Well, I don't know if he was directly involved, but I don't think Barry Horowitz was in mind when they had it all going for them. Just look into it and get back to me-- we're going to get him where he's hurting...literally. Bye.

Jim Balsillie: The funny thing about this is you think that he has the money for this whole fiasco, Gar. There's a reason he was filing for bankruptcy, you know that right??

GB: What are you trying to say?? He broke the contract and went against the way we do business and now we're going to show him the NHL means business.

JB: Do business how?? Find any kind of jobber to run a team and then pass the buck when they fail?? I can't see to see what happens when this jabroni in Tampa realizes he doesn't have much going for him down there and wants to ditch them off again. That's what's going to happen, you and I both know this.

GB: You don't know that, because if knew things like you thought you did-- you'd be owning a team in some suburb of Toronto right now, right?? Listen, when you own a team, you have a certain responsibility to keep your nose clean.

JB: Like Bruce McNall and Boots Del Biaggio did for their teams??

GB: Hey now-- we knew what they were doing and....

JB: And still let Del Biaggio back into the league. It's a craptastic way to do business.

GB: But for every one of those guys, we have 20 or more guys who aren't under indictment. Plus, our owners are honest people when it comes to their dealings-- they'll never curtail the rules when it comes to our league.

JB: Hmmm, like Jeremy Jacobs signing Joe Thornton to a huge rookie deal and Craig Leipold selling his team to who YOU wanted to if he was able to become the owner of the Minnesota Wild??

GB: Exactly. Wait...

JB: The fact remains, this situation wouldn't be an issue if you let him sell the team to me. He would have gotten the money he lost, everyone would have been paid, YOU would have had those legal fees to pay off, and we'd be getting on with like.

GB: Maybe so, but the fact remains that people aren't fans of you and your rebel ways, Jim. Come on, you know you don't have the BoG's ear. Who's to say it'd be over for you, him, or us had we let this go through. I know I'm 90% sure we would be tied up in court together and probably be splitting hotel costs in order to save some cash. It's not like selling the team to you would be a magical fix as you thought it would be.

JB: Sure, the City of Glendale would have been on our asses, but that's why we put in conditions in the sale about if we don't reach expectations, we have the ability to pull the team out of their current home and go somewhere that they are wanted and will bring in profit. I know me getting the team wouldn't be the cure to the headache, but when you work WITH ME rather than against me; we'd be in a better place-- that much I'm sure.

GB: Why work with you when no one wanted you. You're 0-for-3 in teams, two of your own short-sightedness and jumping the gun on many things, while the other we kind of blocked you from. You did have the BoG's ear, then you tried selling season tickets to a non-existed relocated team. Working with you hasn't done the trick, so why should we trust working with you now.

JB: You work with me because if you actually want money to be spend by someone other than the league and not have GMs up in arms about your trade deadline movement, regardless of how small it really was, then you'll look for someone willing to deal with the albatross that is this team. You put conditions in the sale in terms of relocating the team, I would have been able to work within that and then it's up to everyone involved to market this team and make them a success so we wouldn't have to worry about the conditions.

GB: Maybe we'll be do business in the future, but I don't know if we can trust what you say. You can say one thing and do another-- we've known that for a while now. We'll see what happens with Florida, maybe you could do something in Miami or Atlanta or another one of these great Sunbelt teams. I mean, you could make them work there and actually make me look like a genius.

JB: (under breath) I'll get right on that....

GB: Now, I've had too much water and excitement and now I have to piss. (Walks to the bathroom, hears water running) Dammit, Jim-- you can't have the fountain going when you're not in here. What are we, made of money?? I'm suing a bankrupt guy, so that shows you how much I had. Wait-- the showers're here, I'm here....(pulls back shower curtain)...

Judge Redfield T. Baum: T-BOMBED!!!

GB: OHJEEBUS!! (Falls into hallway)

JB: Who didn't see that one coming, really?? You'd think by now, you'd put two and two together.

GB: I come up with Maui for that the answer??

JB: Good sweet Lord.....


Vince said...

another classic episode! I'm waiting for a two parter bridging seasons 1&2 and perhaps a "very special episode" of Bet & Bals.

JonnyP said...

T-Bombed! Hahahaha.